I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
