worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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