I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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