Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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