Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
