Can i not drive my cunt home
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
