Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize