So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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