What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
