I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
