Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize