I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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