I accidentally had phone sex last night
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
