you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you didnt know i had herpes?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
