My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
