I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
