what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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