There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
COCAINE IS GR8
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