So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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