Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
