Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
