Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
3 2 1 whiskey
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
