I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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