Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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