I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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