Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
