i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
