Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I supernannyed him into submission
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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