i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
