She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
