I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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