So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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