Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
