your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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