i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
