You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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