big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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