I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
