frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
