You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
