I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
