you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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