they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
