i don't like sucking hair
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
