Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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