Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
