So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
