Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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