I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
