Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Blood and glitter go together right?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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