Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
