Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize