Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just want nice things and good sex
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
