I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We were destined to go to rehab together
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
