so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
