ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
kristin has been a bad kristin
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
