i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize