Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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