Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
